Father's Day Reminiscences

 

June 18, 2006

Father's Day

After worship at Chalcedon Presbyterian Church,  we gathered at Pine Lark for a Sunday lunch of boiled shrimp with Louis sauce followed by listening to a CD of spirituals in the living room.

Fun things to remember about WDJ  a la five senses:

Touch:  steady hands coupled with practiced technical skills to perform delicate operations on small human anatomy (arteries)....... and remove splinters from children's fingers and toes

Sight:  green eyes that were observant - dont ever think he wasn't paying attention ~

Hearing:  loved singing/listening to music like spirituals and Handel's Messiah  

Taste:  keen taste buds that allowed him to detect specific flavors in our cooked dishes and he always ate whatever I prepared.

Smell:  distinctly shaped nose that loved the scent of gardenias, and hence, his wife's perfume (White Shoulders);  on his 80th birthday I gave him a new supply white cotton handkerchiefs - 80 of them!

On this day in 2023, I re-listened to his 1987 lecture on organ transplantation and brain death.  It was nice to hear his voice and be reminded of his astute reasoning skills.

Mother's Day

This year is my second for *firsts*.   In 2021, my father died.  Then 21 months later, in 2022, my mother died. 

And so, that just means that I am experiencing once again those *firsts* without one or the other. 

It's just my turn to suffer  loss. 

I am thankful for the loyalty and support of my nuclear family and special friends.

I am blessed to have had both of my parents for such a long time in my short life.... to get to know them as an adult as well as an *older* adult is indeed special.

In memory of my recently deceased mother, this year for Mother's Day I made a donation to Frontlineresponse.org  This particular organization has a strong presence in my city/state well-known for attracting crowds for special sporting events and conventions.

To show my heart for someone I dont believe I have to have "walked a mile in her/his shoes" (moccasins*).  I am willing to be judged by the standard of Holy Scripture and strive to be a good steward ("put my money where my mouth is.")  Support for those in crisis pregnancy has long been dear to my heart and now I add support to the rescue of those ensnared in se*-trafficking.

In the past in memory of my father I made donations to topics dear to his heart:  pro-life ministries (GRTL) and private practice/education of medicine/surgery (AAPS & GA Vascular Foundation)

PS - Red Tulips on Moma's yet-to-be-marked grave are representative of her battle with Parkinson's.

PPS Family group photo taken 4/21/13 - ten years ago ... on my 55th birthday celebrated after church with dinner at the Canoe restaurant in Vinings, GA on the banks of the Chattahoochee River where I grew up.

* reference to popular poem by M Lathrap

Judge Softly

  

“Pray, don’t find fault with the man that limps,
Or stumbles along the road.
Unless you have worn the moccasins he wears,
Or stumbled beneath the same load.

There may be tears in his soles that hurt
Though hidden away from view.
The burden he bears placed on your back
May cause you to stumble and fall, too.

Don’t sneer at the man who is down today
Unless you have felt the same blow
That caused his fall or felt the shame
That only the fallen know.

You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, unknown to you in the same way,
May cause you to stagger and fall, too.

Don’t be too harsh with the man that sins.
Or pelt him with words, or stone, or disdain.
Unless you are sure you have no sins of your own,
And it’s only wisdom and love that your heart contains.

For you know if the tempter’s voice
Should whisper as soft to you,
As it did to him when he went astray,
It might cause you to falter, too.

Just walk a mile in his moccasins
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse.
If just for one hour, you could find a way
To see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.

I believe you’d be surprised to see
That you’ve been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
There are people on reservations and in the ghettos
Who have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.

Brother, there but for the grace of God go you and I.
Just for a moment, slip into his mind and traditions
And see the world through his spirit and eyes
Before you cast a stone or falsely judge his conditions.

Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins
And remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.
We will be known forever by the tracks we leave
In other people’s lives, our kindnesses and generosity.

Take the time to walk a mile in his moccasins.”

~ by Mary T. Lathrap, 1895

2023 WORD OF THE YEAR

STEWARD

I am but a steward of the manifold grace of God ~ 

Matthew Henry's commentary on     Luke 16

An etching by Jan Luyken illustrating Luke 16:1-9 in the Bowyer Bible, Bolton, England.

Phillip Medhurst - Photo by Harry Kossuth

S = SINNER - 1 JOHN 1:8 - If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

S = SAVIOR - LUKE 2:11 - For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

T = TREACHERY - Ezekiel 18:24b - None of the righteous deeds that he has done shall be remembered; for the treachery of which he is guilty and the sin he has committed, for them he shall die.

T = TRUTH - Ephesians 4:25 - Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

       

E = EVERLASTING PUNISHMENT - Revelation 20:10 - and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulphur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and forever.

E = ETERNAL LIFE - JOHN 17:3 - And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

W = WICKEDNESS - Luke 11:39 - And the Lord said to him, "Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness."

W = WISDOM - Luke 21:15 - for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.

A = APATHY - Rev 3:15-16 - I know your works:  you are neither cold not hot.  Would that you were either cold or hot.  So, because you are lukewarm (apathetic), and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.

A = ABUNDANCE - Rom 5:17 - For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

R = REBUKE - Psalm 119:21 - You rebuke the insolent, accursed ones who wander from your commandments.

R = REWARD - Psalm 19:11 - Moreover, by them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward

D = DECEIVER - 2 John 7 - For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh.   Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist.

D = DISCIPLE - John 13:35 - By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

PARABLE OF THE UNRIGHTEOUS STEWARD

Luke 16: 1-18

SIBLINGS

 June 30, 2013 - Callaway Gardens, Georgia 

"What causes sibling rivalry?  Having more than one kid."

Tim Allen

American Actor/Comedian.  1953 - 

• 
  

Remembering WDJ

Two years have passed since Daddy died.  There are white flowers on his marker (on the right) and a mixed floral bouquet on my maternal grandparent's companion marker (on the left).   My mother's new grave is in the middle.

Besides reading Scripture there are a couple of books/devotionals that have informed my grief and I recommend them.

The first is Every Moment Holy, Vol 2   published by Rabbit Room Press.  When I could not find words to pray, this collection supplied them.  The liturgies have been such balm for my soul that I go back to them often.  Plus I bought a dozen copies to give as gifts.

Second is Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon.   Never too simple and always applicable these short essays were read aloud round around the dinner table with my parents, and then just with me and Moma.   Spurgeon is a longtime favorite, but I had always only read the entries for the mornings.  Reading the Evening Entries was a blessing that helped me stay focused.

Third is hearing a series of sermons on heaven preached by Anthony Curto.  It is real.  Here is a link to the first one delivered at our church on 27 December 2020.

Fourth, advice for assuaging grief.  Do something today that you enjoyed doing with the deceased.  In my case, it was going to a shop frequented by my mother and me and taking care of a lamp in need of attention/repair.

Remembering Gustie

Gusta Amanda Daniel Jordan 

Picture of a picture, unedited ~

Taken 27 December 1955,

at the wedding reception of 

her son, my father ~

died this day

4 March 1959,

when I was only 11 months old

and she was but 62 years young.

Read below her obituary

Remembering AOL

My maternal grandfather died on February 26, 1960, and was buried a couple of days later at Arlington Memorial Park in Sandy Springs, GA. Since we have recently buried there both his daughter, my mother, and his son-in-law, my father, I thought it was interesting to note the landscape of their section of the cemetery and how the trees have grown.

 

Lots of flowers for this man who died young, age 58

Photo below taken December 7, 2022

 

The Cultivation of Christmas Trees

There are several attitudes towards Christmas,

Some of which we may disregard:
The social, the torpid, the patently commercial,
The rowdy (the pubs being open till midnight),
And the childish — which is not that of the child
For whom the candle is a star, and the gilded angel
Spreading its wings at the summit of the tree
Is not only a decoration, but an angel.

The child wonders at the Christmas Tree:
Let him continue in the spirit of wonder
At the Feast as an event not accepted as a pretext;
So that the glittering rapture, the amazement
Of the first-remembered Christmas Tree,
So that the surprises, delight in new possessions
(Each one with its peculiar and exciting smell),
The expectation of the goose or turkey
And the expected awe on its appearance,

So that the reverence and the gaiety
May not be forgotten in later experience,
In the bored habituation, the fatigue, the tedium,
The awareness of death, the consciousness of failure,
Or in the piety of the convert
Which may be tainted with a self-conceit
Displeasing to God and disrespectful to children
(And here I remember also with gratitude
St. Lucy, her carol, and her crown of fire):

So that before the end, the eightieth Christmas
(By “eightieth” meaning whichever is last)
The accumulated memories of annual emotion
May be concentrated into a great joy
Which shall be also a great fear, as on the occasion
When fear came upon every soul:
Because the beginning shall remind us of the end
And the first coming of the second coming.

T.S. Eliot

1888 - 1965

Sisters

sisters are special, strange, and specific 

which I wrote in greeting card to my cousin Karen Stovall when her older sister Harriet died in August 2022

special = better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual

strange = unusual or surprising in a way that is unsettling or hard to understand

specific = belonging or relating uniquely to a particular subject

Photo taken Summer 2017 at our annual Jordan family reunion at Callaway Gardens ~

TULIPS FOR PARKINSONS

T = TIME (not technology) - being present, holding hands, looking into eyes

U  = UNDERSTANDING - try to avoid misunderstanding by giving benefit of the doubt

L  = LIVE QUALITY (lifestyle choice) - support choice of caregiver & where to live

I  =  INCREASED AWARENESS - learn more about the disease process

P  = PILLS ON TIME - structure/schedule/routine provides security

S  = SUPPORT - (encouragement) - wait patiently while s/he does it on her own

Karen Painter, another Parkinson’s patient, designed the logo used today, with a red tulip and 2 leaves in the shape of “P” and “D”. Since 2010, Karen’s red tulip has been universally used as the logo or symbol for Parkinson’s.

FOR A TIME OF SORROW*

My father died one year ago today and I thought I share some words* that have comforted me.

 Sorrow is one of the things that are lent, not given. 

A thing that is lent may be taken away;

a thing that is given is not taken away.

Joy is given.

Sorrow is lent.

We are not our own, we are bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20),

"and our sorrow is not our own" 

(Samuel Rutherford said this a long time ago),

it is lent to us for just a little while

that we may use it for eternal purposes.

Then it will be taken away

and everlasting joy will be our Father's gift to us,

and the Lord God will wipe away all tears from off all faces (Is 25:8)

So, let us use this "lent" thing to draw us 

nearer to the heart of Him who was once a Man of Sorrows,

(He is not that now, but He does not forget the feeling of sorrow).

Let us use it to make us more tender with others, 

as He was when on earth, and is still,

for He is touched with the feeling of our infirmities. (Heb 4:15)

*excerpt from Edges of His Ways by Amy Carmichael's

Photo Credit Sheffield Leithart

2022 WORD OF THE YEAR

 BEDEW

B = believe

E = enter

D = do

E = escape

W = water

Resurrection Pines

upon the burial of W.D. Jordan

beloved grandfather

The wind in the pines

begins a whisper,

a hushed refrain, the murmuring hymn

of an age-old tune -

Creation's song with muted words

proclaims;

from dawn of time to dusk,

from rising and the setting sun,

familiar chorus echoes through

the trees:

life waits to be made new,

renewed,

yearning, striving, aching, pining;

Already-not yet, whole.

Anticipating greater winds,

the movement grows,

as breezes blow,

bending stubborn branches,

unveiling whence the true Light

shines.

Inspiring, showing, glowing,

brushing back the dark, and 

Drawing brightened gazes higher,

Lifting up, still lifted to the

clear and open skies, arise -

Soon no more tears, nor sighs.

Until with shout triumphant,

blasts the heavenly gate

of unearthly choirs,

fills the reborn firmament,

bends the hearts, the heads, the knees

of men.

And raises up the dead in Him

alive with life unending,

Life!

No longer bent and broken,

rushed, pushed, prodded,

tossed, twisted, turn, then -

in a moment changed.

The wind in the pines

reminds

of Resurrection coming.

Margaret Jago McCarthy

Link to story about crosses and pine trees (esp loblolly & longleaf )

Eggs

 Top ten ways I like to eat eggs ~

1)  Benedict-style - pictured is Sunday's deliciousness but you can't see the crab cake

2)  Scrambled with cheese

3)  Hard-boiled with lemon pepper

4)  Poached 

5)  Quiche

6)  Shakshuka

7)  Omelette-style

8)  Deviled

9)  French Toast

10)Lemon-cheese Cake

Recipes to follow ~

Family is Forever

 Photo take 23 March 2019 on back deck of our parents' home on Kingsland Ct Atlanta GA

at weekend gathering

L - R; Grey, Noel, Dana, Amanda

Here's a favorite quote from the Downton Abbey television series in which Lady Edith explains to her older sister Lady Mary why she continues to engage.  

“Because in the end, you’re my sister. And one day only we will remember Sybil...Until at last our shared memories will mean more than our mutual dislike.”

Siblings

Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply ~

Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

What Is So Rare As A Day In June

For a cap and bells our lives we pay,

Bubbles we buy with a whole soul's tasking:

'Tis heaven alone that is given away,

'Tis only God may be had for the asking;

No price is set on the lavish summer;

  June may be had by the poorest comer.

And what is so rare as a day in June?
Then, if ever, come perfect days;  
Then Heaven tries earth if it be in tune,
And over it softly her warm ear lays;
Whether we look, or whether we listen,
We hear life murmur, or see it glisten;
Every clod feels a stir of might,
An instinct within it that reaches and towers,
And, groping blindly above it for light,
Climbs to a soul in grass and flowers;
The flush of life may well be seen
Thrilling back over hills and valleys;
The cowslip startles in meadows green,
The buttercup catches the sun in its chalice,
And there's never a leaf nor a blade too mean
To be some happy creature's palace;
The little bird sits at his door in the sun,
Atilt like a blossom among the leaves,
And lets his illumined being o'errun
With the deluge of summer it receives;
His mate feels the eggs beneath her wings,
And the heart in her dumb breast flutters and sings;
He sings to the wide world, and she to her nest,
In the nice ear of Nature which song is the best?

Now is the high-tide of the year,
And whatever of life hath ebbed away
Comes flooding back with a ripply cheer,
Into every bare inlet and creek and bay;
Now the heart is so full that a drop overfills it,
We are happy now because God wills it;
No matter how barren the past may have been,
'Tis enough for us now that the leaves are green;
We sit in the warm shade and feel right well
How the sap creeps up and the blossoms swell;
We may shut our eyes but we cannot help knowing
That skies are clear and grass is growing;
The breeze comes whispering in our ear,
That dandelions are blossoming near,
That maize has sprouted, that streams are flowing,
That the river is bluer than the sky,
That the robin is plastering his house hard by;
And if the breeze kept the good news back,
For our couriers we should not lack;
We could guess it all by yon heifer's lowing,
And hark! How clear bold chanticleer,
Warmed with the new wine of the year,
Tells all in his lusty crowing!

Joy comes, grief goes, we know not how;
Everything is happy now,
Everything is upward striving;
'Tis as easy now for the heart to be true
As for grass to be green or skies to be blue,
'Tis for the natural way of living:
Who knows whither the clouds have fled?
In the unscarred heaven they leave not wake,
And the eyes forget the tears they have shed,
The heart forgets its sorrow and ache;
The soul partakes the season's youth,
And the sulphurous rifts of passion and woe
Lie deep 'neath a silence pure and smooth,
Like burnt-out craters healed with snow.

James Russell Lowell 1848

The Optimist

Life handed him a lemon,

As Life sometimes will do.

His friends looked on in pity,

Assuming he was through.

They came upon him later,

Reclining in the shade

In calm contentment, drinking

A glass of lemonade.





poem published in a 1940 edition of The Rotarian

photo credit:  Photo By: Courtesy of Army Cols. Elizabeth and Aaron Martin

WORD OF THE YEAR 2020

REST

R = remember

E = encourage

S = submit

T = treasure

 A seemingly passive word that pointed me to action so I chose action verbs to help me implement this godly exercise.