Much Depends Upon Dinner*

Children in our culture learn manners at the dining table, and not manners only.


It is believed that falling away from the cultural custom of eating with others at table three times a day can cause backwardness in all of a child's speaking skills.

pg 13




Cultural anthropologist, Margaret Visser, has intrigued me for a long time.  Ever since I received her first book* as a gift.  And while I have not finished reading this one, the two-sentence excerpt above covers a lot of ground when it comes to rearing a family these days.

I think many make the task out to be harder than it really is.

Just remember ~

Eat together often.

Visitin'  happens.

Book Club:  Imagination #9

Nearing the end of Anthony Esolen's parenting manual, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child, I have not tired of his exhortations, but I continue to wonder about his audience.

Distract the Child with the Shallow and Unreal or The Kingdom of Noise subtitle speaks volumes, but I learned about these vices from my parents, not from reading books or poetry.  I tried to model and teach the counter habits to my children in an effort to combat the ill effects of a life lacking discipline.

What are they?

Learning to be quiet.
Learning to to sit still.
Developing right relationships.
Exercising self control with TV, radio, etc.

My favorite quote from this chapter has many applications.

Television doesn't merely spend the time, it spoils the time it doesn't spend.

Just insert a different media (or person/celebrity) for the word *television* and you can cover the gamut of popular electronic devices (and riff raff) that comprise the Kingdom of Noise.

But that's not new.

Here's a link to a poem written in 1948 by Phyllis McGinley who decries the demise of the dinner hour ~

a perfect segue another pet peeve:  hopping up and down from the dinner table.

If a youngster cant sit still for a 30-minute family meal, then I take note.  But I doubt that anyone reading my blog has that problem, since all y'all's offspring sit still for church, circle time, and car rides.

But can s/he be quiet and listen? 

My mother continues to have occasion to remind me of these good habits.  I admit to being a poor listener and do try and withhold my opinions and hear what the other people has to say first.  But it continues to be an effort.  I have created more problems for myself by forgetting that God gave me two ears and one mouth..... for a reason!

When my children were very young, just going to church provided an opportunity to practice what I was preaching at home.  Our congregation favors family worship, encouraging us to keep our babies, toddlers, and young with parents during the service, albeit on the back row - close to the door ;-)   So, in that space of time, we practiced silence, hands folded in lap, keeping still, using our ears, and facing forward.  Thankfully, our church is small enough that the preacher is not projected onto a screen, imitating television.  The habits there formed have translated well as our children matured.

Finally, the habit of developing right relationships continues to be an area where we can advise our children.  It covers a lifetime and I truly approve of Esolen's perspective here.  Family connections trump social associations on many fronts, and certainly long term. Here's a link to the first article I ever read by Esolen:  Dozens of Cousins.  Family reunions are high on my list of important events.  These people are mysterious portals.  Don't be afraid to walk through.

Lastly, I leave you with a challenge.

Here's a link to Anthony Esolen's contact information.

His birthday is Friday, March 18th.

He'll be 52.

Make a connection.



Bonus Link to DD#1's recent voice recital ~

Quarrelling

Let dogs delight to bark and bite,
For God hath made them so;
Let bears and lions growl and fight,
For 'tis their nature too.

But, children, you should never let
Your angry passions rise;


Your little hands were never made
To tear each other's eyes.







Isaac Watts
1674 - 1748
English poet, hymnwriter

Death at Suppertime

Phyllis McGinley, author and poet, penned the following verse in 1948, decrying the media's encroachment upon that crucial hour once reserved for family meals.

Time and time again we wonder why the world is in such a sad state of affairs.

My personal solution is the maintenance of the dinner hour (free of television, telephone, and teleprompter) ....each.and.every.day.


Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupation,
That is known as the Children's Hour.


That endeth the skipping and skating,
The giggles, the tantrums, and tears,
When, the innocent voices abating,
Alert grow the innocent ears.


The little boys leap from the stairways,
Girls lay down their dolls on the dot,
For promptly at five o'er the airways
Comes violence geared to the tot.


Comes murder, comes arson, come G-men
Pursuing unspeakable spies;
Come gangsters and tough-talking he-men
With six-shooters strapped to their thighs;
Comes the corpse in the dust, comes the dictum
"Ya' better start singin', ya' rat!"
While the torturer leers at his victim,
The killer unleashes his gat.


With mayhem the twilight is reeling.
Blood spatters, the tommy guns bark.
Hands reach for the sky or the ceiling
As the dagger strikes home in the dark.

And lo! with what rapturous wonder
The little ones hark to each tale
Of gambler shot down with his plunder
Or outlaw abducting the mail.


Between the news and the tireless
Commercials, while tempers turn sour,
Comes a season of horror by wireless,
That is known as the Children's Hour.


I have been known to refer to this *Children's Hour* (say 5p - 7p) as the *Witching Hour* - that time of day in which all hell can break loose, if one is in charge .... of young children especially.  It can also refer to Longfellow's charming poem about his family.  I posted it last year.  

But after living through a few such bewitchings, I determined to avoid them.  I learned that my entire day would go more smoothly, if I knew what we were having for dinner and took at least a couple of steps early in the day to get that meal under control.  Thank goodness for freezers, crockpots, oven-timers, and dishwashers. 

Unfortunately, I discovered Mrs. McGinley after learning to cope without the benefit of her wise words.

But I continue to read her essays and poems because after all....

A woman's mind needs to be well-furnished.

She spends a lot of time there.