Friday, June 22, 2007

Fifty Years Old

There may be lot of truth in the popular book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, but I’ve never read it.

 Now that I’m approaching the big Five-O, if I want to read it, I’ll need to order it in the Large Print Edition.

I think I’m afraid to read it because I already know I have trouble with *sharing*, a standard kindergarten lesson.

So, despite my advancing years, I may not be as mature as I think. Futhermore, I’ve discovered a new list by which to judge my abilities.

Check out this article in the AARP magazine.

 I can’t even believe that I’m admitting to reading this type of literature in the first place. Would you believe it came to the office? And that’s how I stumbled across it?

 Hah! Yeah, right!?

Nevertheless, run down this list and see how you fare.

Fifty Things You Need to Know by Fifty

1) How to have great s*x after 30 years of marriage.
2) How to forgive.
3) How to refrain from flirting.
4) How to know your abilities.
5) How to save money.
6) How to lose weight.
7) How to look like you’ve lost weight.
8) How to find the bathroom in five languages.
9) How to find your keys.
10) How to speak in public.
11) How to know your place in the world.
12) How to die.
13) How to fire someone.
14) How to sing in public.
15) How to give a compliment.
16) How to take a compliment.
17) How to ask for a date.
18) How to make an amazing dish.
19) How to give a gift.
20) How to play the lottery.
21) How to grieve.
22) How to get a law passed.
23) How to respond to a letter from the IRS.
24) How to deliver bad news.
25) How to choose a radio station.
26) How to rear teenagers.
27) How to travel without getting sick.
28) How to navigate the company picnic.
29) How to amuse grandchildren.
30) How to score an upgrade.
31) How to choose a good book.
32) How to talk.
33) How to save a life.
34) How to save the planet.
35) How to say *I'm Sorry.*
36) How to know how much is enough.
37) How to shoot a Skyhook.
38) How to surf the Web.
39) How to make peace with your parents
.40) How to take a fall.
41) How to rate pain on a scale of 1 - 10.
42) How to stay married.
43) How to make friends.
44) How to schedule a day off.
45) How to tell a joke.
46) How to stop smoking.
47) How to be afraid.
48) How to divide the heirlooms without a will.
49) How to have *The Driving Talk.*
50) How to say *No - thank you*.

Remember, fifty is young.....if you're a tree.


  1. I'm printing this out. OK - out with it. When do you turn 50? I do in September, the day after Donna.

    There's three on the top ten I still have to learn, but I'm not saying which ones, ha ha!!

  2. Glad you got a kick out of this list. It's really not I who is turning 50, but DH. On 7/5.

    My turn isnt until NEXT year :)