Parenting Pet Peeves


Cindy in her jolly, winsome way entreated us to join her in listing the things that really bother us about the parenting skills/methods of others.

Now I hestitated to comment on her post, but somehow Cindy has power over me and I did.




I agreed with her on everything :)

Actually, I didnt stick my neck out as far as I should/could because I thought *Surely you will offend people. And remember, Dana, there IS (read “IS” as defined by Mr. Clinton) more than one way to skin a cat. ha ha!*

But here I am, fragmenting myself from the group and obsessing over my own vocational skills, being the egotist that I am, and posting my comments on my own site. After all, negativity garners attention. It sells. Cindy says so! Think the Simpsons will get me some comments?

At any rate, here’s my list based on some vocabulary in Richard Weaver’s Ideas Have Consequences, which a few of us area reading together.

IDEAS - It really bugs me that most parent have no idea where they are going and what they are doing. Having no (or low) expectations of themselves, they cant possibly project positive expectations of their offspring.

CONSEQUENCES - Parents conveniently overlook the consequences of the actions of their children creating a never-ending ripple effect of (perhaps more serious) consequences for a single easily corrected action/idea.

SENTIMENT - Most parents today lack the correct sentiment. I’ll extrapolate Weaver’s cold logic and let you know exactly what I mean: many parents dont see themselves the way God sees them.

DISTINCTION - Distinction, differences, discrimination are all healthy skills that parents should teach their children. These all are easily identified within the family unit and can be modeled simply in every day life. Higher educational degrees are not required. It is common sense, as Cindy decries. I claim that we do our children a disservice when we dont make things perfectly clear.

HIERARCHY - Stopping short of addressing parents as His Highness and Her Highness, I believe in delineating the roles of male/female, mother/father, parent/child, teacher/student, et cetera with a clear authority structure. Whether parents like it or not, this is the way the world functions because God set it up that way.

FRAGMENTATION - Here I see a lack of emphasis on the family as a single unit taking precedence over the fragments (individual children). There are some (many) things which we do together as a family because we are a family. That means that not everyone gets to do what s/he wants all the time. And furthermore, there may be lots of things we choose not to do because it fragments the family. Like not worshipping together at the same church (or even divided services) or like the preppy trend to enroll a child in the school which suits him/her best, even if that means the mother is driving to several schools.


OBSESSION - Here the idea follows that the parent is so over involved in the details and micromanagement of a child’s life that s/he cannot see the bigger picture and make wise decisions. It’s just crazy. Quit racing forward, acting as if you are progressing. Take two or three steps backwards and assess the situation from a wider perspective that doesnt just focus on the needs of one child. Balance is Cindy’s word and moderation is Carmon’s, if I remember correctly.

EGOTISM - Oh.my.goodness. Aren’t we all so stuck on ourselves that we can’t see clearly. It’s even worse when we can’t see our children clearly, and therefore, can‘t be exemplary models. EGO, ID, whatever you want to call it, it’s just plain distasteful, especially in mothers who stroke this inner monster and stunt growth.

WORK - This word makes me think of mothers who do everything, unable to enforce her own rules and afraid to delegate tasks. She works hard, seven days a week, but for some reason this ethic is not transferable (or transferring) to her children. So much more could be said here, but I’ll leave you with a favorite phrase of mine: God said “Six days shall you labor and do all your work.” And that command is addressed to all His creatures.

ART - Aesthetics doesnt have to be high brow. Here I will simply refer my readers to one of my favorite books - The Hidden ART of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer. She addresses the ways in which we overlook this area in every day living and makes valid suggestions for incorporating drawing, writing, and music into family life.


Let me know if you're looking for more specific information. I have more examples than you want to hear or than I should tell.